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Tuesday, 27 October 2009

  • Currently
    The Shack Paperback
    By William P. Young
    see related

    Feedback on Cold Asian Guys

    I am not alone as a member of the gay community who enjoys the company of Asian men and would prefer to have a partner of Asian (or Latin) heritage. A friend of mine here asked me recently what I knew of an Asian man here in Minneapolis. After he asked about his employment and whether he was single or not, my friend asked "is he a nice guy or just another cold Asian man guy?" I knew where he was coming from in his question, but was still surprised that he has not grown any in the last couple of years to move his mind beyond this type of thinking.

    To me it is as though my friend believes Asian men are the problem. I believe it is my friend who is the problem. I think he is still stuck in one gear and not yet willing to educate himself in a position beyond what he has now. I am posting the response to him... I would appreciate your responses and input.

    I have learned though that most “cold Asian guy(s)” are that way because they feel preyed on by the white men. I have learned to back off and not be so intimidating toward them. Their cultures raise them differently than our American culture does. American culture has trained us to be “in your face” and demand satisfaction right away. We are also raised to believe the individual comes first and that we should get what we deserve right now. The Asian cultures are more patient, relaxed, and family/group oriented. Surely you must have seen some of this in your travels to China. I have learned that I can get farther and have more success in spending time with an Asian man when I let him know I am interested… and then just stop. If I continue to pursue him and go after him, then I find that I scare them away and the perception of being another “cold Asian guy” can prevail. This is often not the case. I have found many warm, wonderful Asian men who I know consider very close friends. I know longer consider every Asian man as a personal sexual conquest. This is where I believe Long Yang Clubs has(ve) failed…it has become an organization of non-Asians who are pursuing Asians for personally selfish reasons. Founder Billy Wong realized that this is what the organization had tried to grow into and this is why he tried to retain control. When that control was taken away from him (I was involved in that) it wasn’t done for the right purposes. Everyone was following their own selfish pursuits and not retaining the original goals and ideals of the organization when it was founded. That is the case with the Minnesota chapter.

    After I relocate to California I will participate in several of the organizations again, but will never take a leadership role. If an organization based on Asian culture is to retain that culture and initial goals then it must be led by Asians. As soon as it is turned into the leadership of non-Asians, then it becomes the social group of that culture with only mild interest in Asian social mores and ideals. All is lost.

    I would like to hear your feedback... and I want it all. If you are critical, please try to be constructive in your criticism. I want to learn and continue to grow.

    In the meantime... life is new experiences and learning to grow from past mistakes. One day at a time.


Monday, 26 October 2009

  • Currently
    The Shack Paperback
    By William P. Young
    see related

    Small wanderings...

    This past weekend I moved in to an apartment with a sober friend in St. Louis Park. I've got all the major stuff in there, but now I need to organize the nooks and crannies. It was nice to move out of the former commercial space in my Mother's building. I had affectionately dubbed it "The Cave". There was no outside lighting and no fresh air in the space... it would not be a place to live if you had Season Affected Disorder (SAD). My new roommate JR is a great guy and I'm sure we are going to become good friends.

    I have to get internet access there and am not sure how I want to get it set up. I may just go with Comcast, they are offering me 6meg service for $20 a month with no contract. I can set up a wireless router then too. I should probably just purchase my own DOCSIS compatible modem and a wireless router. If anyone has suggestions on equipment to buy, let me know.

    Last Friday night the Twin Cities Gay Men's Chorus performed with the Minnesota Orchestra as part of their  Broadway Rocks concert. New Pops conductor Sarah Hicks was on the podium. There were four Broadway stars who were the soloists in the program. We covered a variety of Broadway show music in the performance. Now the TCGMC can concentrate on its own next show "Wonder: Celebrating the Wonder of Our Inner Child". Follow the link for more information. It is going to be a fun show.

    This past week I have had a chance to catch up with a few friends on the phone. I talked with IH in Connecticut, JM in Florida, RM and WS in Minnesota, OS in California, and ZM in Malaysia. Something I shipped to ZM several weeks ago finally arrived there. One of the items I had been holding for him for 4 years I think. I have more items to ship to him and now that I know how easy it is, I'll get them sent to him sooner. JM wants me to come to Florida next year for his 27th birthday; he is going with friends to celebrate in Orlando at all the theme parks.

    I haven't heard from RT in Singapore in several weeks. I know he was angry and disappointed in me when we last communicated several weeks ago. It is what it is. I know he is dealing with family issues there and may be wrapped up in those problems at this time.

    Things are going moving slowly on the job search. Some interesting things are happening at my current employer too. I'm still hoping to move to San Diego, but it is now looking as though it will not be until next summer. One more winter in Minnesota... yech!  

Saturday, 10 October 2009

  • Currently
    Pedro
    By Anibal Lleras, Justina Machado, Matt Barr, Jennifer Liu, Hale Appleman
    see related

    A Saturday Update

    A variety of things going on, nothing of real great importance. I still need to write/blog about the trip to San Diego. That was over a month ago, but talking about the restaurants would still be of interest to some folks. I have to remember too that blogging is for me, not the audience. It's a way of remembering where I've been and what I've done. Thanks YNOTswim for reminding me of that. Still applying for jobs in California. Need to keep on top of that so I can get relocated out there in the next few months.

    This weekend is the retreat for the Twin Cities Gay Men's Chorus. I decided not to take in the whole retreat, but only participate in the rehearsals today. We covered a lot of music for out upcoming concert: Wonder: Celebrating the Wonder of Our Inner Child. We also rehearsed music for the Broadway Rocks concert with the Minnesota Orchestra on October 23rd. Check out the links for information for both concerts.

    Arrived home today and found Netflix movies here. Have watched Pedro already. I would recommend it to anyone who is familiar with Pedros Zamora's story including his appearance on Season Three of Real World; how he dealt with his HIV status and his ultimate death the same night as the final episode aired. It's a very touching movie and I recommend it.

    More later...

Sunday, 04 October 2009

Wednesday, 23 September 2009

About Me

  • Single GWM who believes life is a voyage of discovery and I'm looking for a traveling companion... oriented toward a long term, monogamous relationship. Life is too short to not try everything once or twice...give it a chance! Favorite past times and interests include amateur photography, music, travel, world cultures, food/cooking/dining, personal challenges/growth, and Asian or Latin men.